Look At Specail Lil You This Is Your One Of One Infernal Legions Of Mordor Discography Boxed Set

The Electricity In The Air Before A Good Siege

Larping At The Blind Guardian Concert

Orc Blade Plunged Deep Into Elvin Flesh

Gollum Was A Crack Baby

The Witch That Lives In The Trees

The Water Temple Can Suck My Ass

Crowdfunding To Buy Myself Chainmail

Drawn And Quartered Varg Finally Dies

Going For A Hike And Finding A Black Metal Promo Shoot

Cursed Dagger Of Lee-Hon-Tuc

My Blade, My Honor, My Suffrage

Thine Torch Igniting The Ceremonial Fireworks

M'Lord Is Medieval For Daddy

I Got Roasted By A Guy Wearing A Fedora At A Ren Fair

Masturbating To The Elves In Skyrim

Smallsword // Smallerdick

Lack Of Basic Hygiene Doesn't Make You A Viking

Stabbing The Winner Of Varg's Tabletop R.P.G.

Calling Your Mother's Basement Your Dungeon

Sexual Fantasy Involving An Orc And A Dwarf

Frolicking Naked In The Trees Because You're A Wizard

Mark Mccoy Before He Was Hipster Black Metal Semen

Ishan Before He Thought He Was In Dream Theater

Mayhem: A Career Made On Two Corpses

Bigsword //Mircoscopicpenis

That Feel When Good Siege

I Liked Harry Potter Better When He Was In Troll

Using Black Magic To Get Myself A Date

Leading The Charge

Into The Mines Of Moria

I Live In A Hut In The Woods With Ildjarn

I Can't Wait For The Lords Of Noisecore To Put A Hit Out On Me

Using Flash During A Black Metal Show To Ruin The Ambiance

Wolves In The Throne Room Are A Bunch Of Fucking Nerds

I'm From Texas, I Don't Know What Winter Is

You Smell Like An MMO Player

It's Not Caps Lock, IT'S KVLT LOCK, DIPSHIT!!!

I Was Born In The Wrong Time, I Want To Lead A Crusade

Leading A Medieval Campain To 711 For Mountain Dew

Beating Up Nerds Outside Of A Kamelot Concert

Dungeon Synth, Trve Incel Music

Graveland's Instagram Sharing Star Wars Memes

Rob Darken Looks Like My Grandma

Getting Lyrical Themes From Runescape

Ildjarn Is A School Teacher

Mortiis Looks Like A Digimon

Cave Dwelling Dungeon Synth Fan

The Trees Tell Me Many Things, Like Where To Score PCP

This Rock In The Forest Looks Like A Member Of A Boston Punk Band

Chainmail Protects Me From Blades, But Not Your Insults

Bringing A Sword To A Punk Show To Scare Poseurs

Dear Knight I Commend Thine Skullet

Eating From Yee Olde Pizza Carte

Forgotten Forest Path Leading To A Meth Lab

Spell Book Containing A Couple Of Spells

Satan Is M'Lord

Hanging Out With My Fellow Incels At The Iced Earth Concert

Christopher Lee's Power Metal Band

Drunkenly Slogging Around Demanding People Drink Your Potion

My Dear, Sweet, Combat Alchemist

The Power Of The Full Moon Charging My Boner

My Huge, Heathen, Maypole

I Am A Wizard And My Magic Is Meth

I Work At Medieval Times To Get Drunk On Mead

Peasants Who Think Burzum Is Good

Nobles That Know Ildjarn Is Truth

Going From Punk To Pissing Cave Dweller

True Crime Songs Are Fucking Stupid

Faust From Emperor Is Free To Kill Again

That Guy From Anal Cunt Neither Feared Or Respected That Escalator

Intro (Into The Pantheon Of Friendship)

My Friend Nick Is The Textbook Definition Gentile Giant And Is A Very Good Boy

Joseph Is A Very Patient Person Who Writes Very Good Music

My Friend Ryan, Beat Me For An Art Scholarship, Because He's A Better Artist Than Me

My Friend Libby, The Motorcycle Mom To All The Young Punks

Danny From Austin Who Told Me I'm His P. White To His Billy Quizboy

Danni Who Does Really Good Tattoos, Like The Mace On My Arm

My Friend Life, Who Likes War Metal And Is Going To Beauty School

My Friend Blake Who Once Demanded I Stop In A Town Called Cumming

My Friend Wad Who Once Helped Me Make Knifechucks

Texas Mike, Who Doesn't Live In Texas, But Loudly Tells Me He Loves Me

I Have A Friend Named Liam Who Makes Black Metal And People Call Him Piss

My Friend Erica Who Makes Really Cool Art And Screams A Lot

My Friend Alican Who Is The Smartest Idiot I Know

My Friend Emma, Who Is Going To Make A Pornogrind Band About Killing Incels

My Friend Lauren, A Smolbean Who Shreds The Bass

My Friend Hodge, Who Plays Drums Very Good And Very Calmly

Reese, Or Ross, Who Plays Scape And Fronts A Death Metal Band

My Friend Donovan Is A Gear Encyclopedia And A Very Good Boy

My Friend Kimberly, Noisecore Queen

Dunny, The Cave Dwelling Dungeon Synth Man Who Is Very Handsome

My Friend Joose Who Is Really Funny

Slade, A Very, Very Nice Boy Who Plays Powerviolence

Todd, Another, Very, Very Nice Boy Who Plays Powerviolence

Allin Who Left America To Study Something They Really Enjoy Writes Really Cool Music

My Friend Derik Is A Hobbit And A Good Boy

My Friend Larry, A Part Time Weeb, Full Time Small Business Owner

My Friend Gus Who Is Way Tougher Than I Will Ever Be

My Friend Hannah Costillo Who Takes Pictures Really Good

My Friends Ian, Olivia, Jordan And Gabe Are All Very Nice And Have A Great Band Named Warm Bodies

My Friend Billy Who Is My Twin And Has A Really Good Band Named Bib

Rocha, Who Makes Scary Music But Has A Heart Of Gold

Uncle Rob, Who Is An Absolute Treasure

I Have A Friend Named Taylor Vinson Who Is Really Funny, But Ate At A Texas In N Out

My Friend Caroline Is The Reason I'm In This Stupid Shit And Alive

Jake Garlick, He Plays Nasty Guitar Really Good And He Can Skate

Simon Who Watches Very Well Made Movies And Plays Drums Very Well

My Friend Erica Salazar Who I Miss But I'm Hoping Is Doing Well In Seattle

My Friend Savannah Has A Cool Job Working For People Who Book Cool Shows

My Friend Jackson "Burnout" Boyd And I Once Went On A Goregrind Date

Andy, Sometimes Billy, Is A Hurricane And A Good Boy

My Friend Parker Puts Themselves Down A Lot Despite How Talented They Are

My Friend Carroll, The Lone Cowpunk And A Good Fishing Guide

My Friend Sam Claims She's Very Jarring But Is A Very Nice Person

Outro (The Gates Of Friendship)

Thieves Of Sunshine (Lethal Enforcers Of The Night)

Suicide Involving A Noose Made Of Piano Wire, Gorilla Gluing My Hands To Head And Yelling How FUCKING MAD I AM

Fucking Weeb Scum Who Blast NSBM Nightcore Covers While Spanking It To Hentai

How Do You Like My Carcass Rip-off Art For My Gorenoise Ep?

Andre Chicatilo Was A Sick Fuck Who Ate His Victim's Genitals

Alferd Packer Is Having A Schpadoinkle Day In Hell For Eating 5 Of His Companions In The Mountains

I Sure Do Love Roadside Barbeque In Texas, Especially When Its Made Out Of People

Trying To Make Zombie Sex Slaves By Drilling Into Their Brains

Cannibal Corpse Subliminally Convinced Me To Eat My Friend's Brain, It Wasn't As Good As They Said It Would

William, I Have But One Setting And It Is Go

I'm Going To Dig Up John Lennon's Abuser Corpse And Show It The Abuse It Deserves

Bring John Lennon Back To Life So I Can Kill Him Again

What Rich People Google: How Many Pounds Of Truffle Can I Fit Into My Ass

Yesterday When I Was In The Shower, I Cupped My Hands, And Peed Into Them. I Sat There Holding 8 Ounces Of My Own Pee

I Looked At It, Felt Its Warmth, And Then Unclasped My Hands As I Watch The Golden Liquid Flow Down The Drain

I Thought What If... What If I Would Have Drank That Pee?

Gold Is The Colour Of Gold But Also "Pee Pee"

Six Dudes Hanging Around A Car With The Hood Up... Ain't Nothin' Better

Ah... A Nice Glass Of Piss

Aw, Pikachu Shat On The Carpet Again!

Can't Wait For The Future And Mail Order Lsd

Need To Make Some Quick $$$... If You Are Interested In Purchasing An Old Wall In China Hmu

Youtube Channel That Only Uploads Off-brand Battery Reviews

Sorry Tim Heidecker But It's Time For The Real King Of Comedy To Take Back The Throne... Jeff Foxworthy!!!!

Tim Heidecker Vs Me, Trapped In A Restaurants Kitchen While A Grease Fire Burns Out Of Control

Tim Heidecker: Your Days Are Numbered, My Man!

3 Hour Ted Talk Hosted By Yours Truly Where I Just Make Mouth Noises

Drawing Dicks In The UPS Signature Field

I Think Jethro Tull Would Be Interesting Opponents In A Fight

Petition: Replace The Faces Of Those Guys On Mt Rushmore With The Freebird Lyrics

I Smoked The Government Weed And I Can't Sleep, I Can't Stop Thinking About Mars!

100 Likes And I Will Get A Crucified Skinhead Tattoo

A Video Game Where You Play As Steve Buscemi

Taco Bell Sponsorship

Larry David Sex Tape

Crucified Skinhead But It's Gumby

Mark Zuckerberg Has A Controlling Share In Youth Attack Records

Who Up I Got A Box Of Dr Pepper

Had A Dream I Met An NFL Player And I Begged Him To Kill Me

I Miss Texas And I Miss Sweet Tea

Adam Sandler But With A British Accent

Spiderman's Balls

Cowboy God Has Made A Decision... Pineapple Must Remain On Pizza

Take It Easy By The Eagles

Repent You Sinners And Become COWBOY

God Is Returning In Half Of An Hour... Cowboy God

I'd Like To Have A Cage Match With Alton Brown

Double Click Here To See Magic

Just Walked Up To Cale Weir In Public, He Was High And Listening To Tiger Army

Ask Me About Burst Pipes

Mass Sterilization Caused By Poopoo And Peepee

My Idea Of Heaven Would Be Listening To Country And Western Music With My Gpa Forevr

Subway Sandwiches Buffet

A Pizza Place Run By Skinheads

I'm Gonna Kick Your Ass (I'm Lifting Weights As I Post This)

Martial Artists Breaking Planks But The Planks Are Replaced With Casio Keyboards

A Cap With A Hole For People To Show Off Their Bald Spots

All Bald People Are Skinheads

I Wonder What Pisspiggranddad Is Doing Right Now

A Vegetable Called Jetpack

Has Anyone Made Pillows That Look Like Butts Yet

Two Nude Musclebound Men Chasing Each Other Around A Junkyard Shooting Each Other With Dollar Store Water Guns

I Need To Clone Myself Five Times So I Can Fulfil My Dream Of Owning And Operating A Chain Of 6 24/7 Gas Stations

Pumping Iron To The Sopranos Theme Song

I Am Hungover And I Am Fucking Manic

Last Night I Got Banned From Metro (The Supermarket) For Opening And Eating Three Cans Of Cold Staggs Chili In The Store

If I Shit My Pants Would My Boss Let Me Go Home Early

Last Night God Came To Me In The Form Of Liam And He Said "Wanan Maybe Hanmg Out"

Tom Cruise Is The Shadow President And A Member Of The Deep State

Welcome To My Shop Where I Sell Fresh Sweet Corn And New Video Game Releases

"Cro Mags Full Album" Tatted Across My Stomach A La "Thug Life"

Nike Sneakers In Camo Making Me Really Horny

Woke Up With The Fresh Smell Of A Hoagie Near By And A Morning Has Never Been So Complete For Me

I Just Wanna Noodle Catfish And Shit In An Outhouse

Gonna Open Up An Eyebrow Place Called "The Big Lebrowski"

Who Else Is Soaked And Sitting In A Leather Chair At Work

9/11 Truther In The Streets, Infowarrior In The Sheets

Bust Three Nuts Today: Two For The Towers, One For The Pentagon

This Divine Blade Gifted To Me From The Goddess, Liliana, Will Protect My Virginity At All Costs

That Guy From Anal Cunt Neither Feared Or Respected That Escalator

The Harsh Stench Of Mountain Dew On The Incel's Breath

I Can't Wait For Jerkbooth To Make Fun Of Me Again

Billy From Omaha Is A Very Good Boy

Waylen Jennings Is Better Than Any Of Your Dumb Ass N.Y.H.C. Clone Bands

I Had To Find A Virgin To Sacrifice, So At The Stroke Of Midnight I Raided The Local Gamestop

I Don't Know If This Morning's Taco Bell Diarrhea Sounded More Like Carcass Or Impetigo Vocals

Spay Or Neuter Your Retro-thrasher Today

Dream Theater Concert, Aka Incel Pride 2018

Twister Is The Best Movie Ever Written, If You Disagree You're Fucking Stupid

Brogaze Played By The Chillest Of Brogazers

That Time I Convinced Some Bros That A.C.A.B. Means A Chill Ass Bro

Claiming Your Identity Is Asexual When You're Just An Incel

Remember When You Said Punk Would Be Great Again Under Trump? You Lied To Me.

The Deep And Eldritch Sorcery That Will Befall You If You Dare Call Me Fag Again

Only The Trvest Of Satanists Set Up Their Dungeons In Their Mom's Garage

I'm Just An Ugly Homo (Who Plays In A Noisecore Band)

Glen Benton Pussied Out Of Killing Himself

I'd Rather Listen To Dream Theater Than Another Band That Sounds Like Fucking Gag

Using Arcane Necromancy To Revive Cliff Burton To Finally Solve The Lars Problem

The Hardest Part Of Being A Dungeon Synth Fan Was Telling My Parents That I'm A Gay Goblin

Antichrist Kramer Is Going To Fight Neckbeard Deathcamp

I Showed You My Youth Attack Collection, Please Respond

My Friend Bald Larry Plays D&D, Listens To Power Metal And Still Goes On More Dates Than Me

My First Band, FxCxPx, Was An Abomination Before God And A Failure

The Beautiful, Cold Winter Night That Froze My Balls Off And Made Me A Eunuch

Magic The Gathering Of The Juggalos

Satan Is M’Lord II: Daddy Krampus

I Liked Dave Mustaine Better When He Was On Heroin

I Will Die Upon The True Altars Of Madness, Cici's Pizza, As My Body Dissolves From The Grease

Chanting "Make Him Cum" During The Witching Hour Only Summoned A Cop To Issue Us A Noise Complaint

Long Sleeved, Four Sided Dream Theater Awake Shirt To Attract All The Prog Babes

Razorbumps Is Playing Cochella; Thats The Joke

I'm Glad Denton Free Jazz Musicicans Fucking Hate Me Now

If I Wanted To Watch Some Dude Jerk It For 20 Minutes I'd Use Chatroulette Instead Of Going To The Skronk Show

I'm Glad Jesus Chris & The Beatles Broke Up

Cleric Got Sponsored By Hair Care Products

Oh God Fucking Dammit Not Another Band With Parker Lawson In It

Flat Earth Guy Is The True Hero Of North Texas

Creeping Death Will Never Be A Real Death Metal Band Until They Cover Good Sepultura

Burning An Anal Cunt Tape Upon The Altar Of Homosexuality As An Offering To The Lords Of Noisecore

Infernal Legions Of Mordor Is CANCELLED!!!

Dead Hobbit 1

Dead Hobbit 2

Dead Hobbit 3

Dead Hobbit 4

Dead Hobbit 5

Dead Hobbit 6

Dead Hobbit 7

Dead Hobbit 8

Dead Hobbit 9

Message From Mayor Joose Banks 1

Dead Hobbit 10

Dead Hobbit 11

Dead Hobbit 12

Dead Hobbit 13

Dead Hobbit 14

Dead Hobbit 15

Dead Hobbit 16

Message From Mayor Joose Banks 2

Just Another Day Of My Meat Coffin Rotting On This Punishment Orb

6669 Songs About How I Wanna Fight James Labrie

Big Iron (Marty Robbins Cover)

Lodged In The Throat, Disintegrated, Regurgitated

The Daylight Really Makes You Notice The Blood & Feces

Introduction: Will It Scrobble?

Charles Fucking Knowles

Skronk Sucks

I'm Essential

Playing A Wrathful God In Sims 4

Essential Run To The Grocery Store For The New Flavor Of Mountain Dew

We're All Shitposters Now

Shooting Artsy Nudes On Cinestill 800 Because You're A Fucking Dumb Ass

We Totally Won The Battle Set With Two Knights

Too Punk For The Noise Crowd, Too Noise For The Punks

From Top Fan To Band Member; The Rhys Johnson Story

Simon

Crankin' Hog

Using Longmont Potion Castle Threats On Telemarketers

April 2020, Far From The Vibe We Thought 4​/​20 Would Be

You Do Not Need An AR​-​15 You Dumb Sack Of Fuck

Beefy Five Layer Burrito, No Beans, Grilled, Add Nacho Fries

Hey Fuck You, Fuck You Rei Clone

Cici's Delivers Now

Tom Nook Is The Only Good Capitalist

Comin' On Down There With My Bull Whip And Goin' Wha​-​pah​!​!

Morbid Angel And Bolt Thrower Are Fucking Boring

I May Be Ugly, But I Own A Carved Cross Demo You Fucking Peasant

Remember When We Were A Meme Page?

Imran Being Late

Busting A Depression Nut Just To Feel Something

Why, Yes, I Do Have Plenty Of Shit​-​Tickets

Being A Sword Guy Is A Personality Right?

Where Is Texas Mike Now When We Need Him The Most​?​?​?

Shaving Your Head Is A Side Effect Of COVID​-​19

The Band Called Upsetting. That's The Joke.

One Of The Owners Of Freaks & Geeks Made An Infernal Legions Of Mordor Shirt In Animal Crossing

Yeah, I Watch Anime, But I'm Not A Fucking Weeb Like Rei Clone

Simon II: Simon Liked Your Post

Amos From Tenement Likes Raising Caine's & Aerosmith

Give Me Back Recycled! You Can Have Lsa! Just Give Me Back Recycled​!​!​!

We're A Hot, Discogs Flipping Commodity Now

A Joke About The Dog Episode Of Fullmetal Alchemist

A Rei Clone Sucks Joke

A Song About How The Oil Spill EP Slaps And How Rei Clone Still Sucks

I Survived The Days Of Egg Punk For This​?​?​?

Unbelievably Unhorny

Jazz Fusion Assbeaters By The Band Called King Crimson

Broke Panic Buying; Toilet Paper. Woke Panic Buying; A Pound Of Carne Asada

Finally Learning Magik To Curse Charles Fucking Knowles

Idk What My Favorite Denton Cryptid Is; Miles From Two Knights Or Honorable Mayor, Joose Banks

Name Your First Release Something Other Than Demo You Dumb Ass

Gimme Yer Teeth

Simon III: When Will He Post His July 4th Pics?

Because, Life Without Class, Isn't Life Worth Living

I Was A Teenage American Picker

Heaven En Esparta

Brainbombs Nightcore

I'm Quarantined So I Don't Nuke Rei Clone's Ass

Veteran Of The Shit-Ticket Wars

One Million Dead Oogles (Snob Cover)

Cowboy Night

Lawful Cannibalism

Eating The Rich Is Vegan

1984 Jeep Honcho

Revoking Top Fan Badges Of Fucking Losers On The Infernal Legions Facebook

I Must Shit, But I Have No Ass

Some Might Say I Have Too Much Ass

April April Its Fucking April

I Just Lost The Game

Ihsahn Wearing A Turtleneck Sweater

We Are The Premiere Gorenoise Band From Denton

Why Should I Get Bummed That People Who Enjoy 100 Gecs Don't Like Me, They've Shown Their Lack Of Taste

Hey, You Missed Our Set

Introduction: A Warm And Erect Genitalia

Aggressive Rock

I'm Really Glad Seth Putnam Is Dead

Cave Dwelling Dungeon Synth Fan

Cranking Hog In Rhythm With Fragile By Yes

Oh Good God He's In A Floyd Hole!!!!

Out Of The Depths Of The Toilet

Nice Gatecreeper Shirt You Stupid Fucking Poser

Razorbumps Played Coachella, Thats The Joke / Outro

Introduction; The Calm And Ethereal Morning. The Time Before The Carnage

The First Arrow Flies At The Crack Of Dawn

The Coppery Taste Of Blood After The First Kill

Blade Plunged Deep Into Yielding Flesh

666 Dead Cultists

Pile Of Dead Bodies Arranged In A Blasphemous Manner

Sacrifice Under The Perfectly Aligned Stars

A Siege Lasting 6 Days And 9 Hours

Standing Atop A Pile Of My Dead Enemies

Blade Forged Specifically To Kill

Gutting The Foul Orc Who Killed My Brother

A Cave Full Of Kobolds

Another Cave To Forge Potions Within

Malevolent Floating Skeleton

Ancient Evil Rising From Its Crypt

A Coven Of Witches Harvesting Vampyric Fluids

What Do You Have To Barter With?

Little Gremlin That Is Hard To Keep Track Of

Cursed By The Shining Wizard

A Dark Night To Perform Arcane Sorcery Under

Sounds Of Their Screams Mingled With The Burning Of The Land

Kingdom Uprooted From Its Home

Under A Malediction Of An Ancient Warlock

Crazed, Bloodthirsty Troll Rises Above The Hill

Death Will Come To All The False

Effigy Made From Human Sacrifices

A River Of Blood Runs Free

Final Spell Cast As The Evil Wizard Is Slain

Recharging My Crystals

Under The Highest Arc Of The Eclipse The Sacrifice Begins

Mating Call Of The Blood Orc

Ode To The Fallen Warrior

Rusty Blade Found In The Bottom Of A Lake

Beheading The Tyrant King

Intermission: Counting The Dead Before The Second Wave Surges

A Cloak Made From The Scalps Of Those Whose Lives My Blade Extinguished

Severed Head Babbling The Final Incantations

The Hill I Will Die Upon

As The Fog Lifts, I See The Unholy Hordes Advancing

Teleported To The Land Of The Dead

Hovering Lifeless, The Corpse Speaks In The Language Of The Old Ones

Entering The Husk Of The Giant To Consume It's Heart

Legions Of The Night

Magik Cloak Concealing The Sacrificial Dagger

13 Black Candles Arranged In An Array

Blood Alchemy

Ritual Committed At The Top Of A Mountain

The Finest Steel Made By Blood Elves

Following The Light Of The Stars

Flail Crashing Through The Skull Of An Orc

Fiery Pentagram Beckoning

Solitude In My Fortress

Human Flesh Sopping Beneath My Feet

The Haunted Remains Of An Ancient Castle

Deep Within The Catacombs Of Div-e Sepid

Hunted By The Captives Of The Devilwitch

Sword Encased In Stone Carrying An Ancient Curse

That Which Lurks Within The Waters

The Winds Softly Sings It's Carrion Tune

Red Glow Of The Eldritch Sunrise, The Last Thing I Will See

Her Shield, Forever Stained Crimson

Malevolent Forces At Work

Hooded Figures, Lying Dead Inside Of A Scorched Circle

The Grave Comes For Us All

Petrified By The Rising Sun

Foul Potion Filled With The Morning Dew From The Northside Of A Mountain

Teleporting To A New Location To Launch A Subsequent Spell

Holy Shit I Can't Believe We Got CBN To Do A Split With Us

Conclusion: Light Pollution From Funeral Pyres On Low Hanging Clouds As The Storm Gathers

Introduction: The Disgusting Stench Of Burning Feces That Is Being Prepared To Be Catapulted Into The Castle As The Siege Commences

I Own Guns To Protect Myself From Code Orange Fans

Q Did 3/11

I'm Gonna Fight Lars Ulrich

Dfw Metal Mayhem Is Mad I Made Fun Of D&D, So I'm Gonna Do It Again (D&D Is Dumb)

The Fountain Is A Really, Really, Really Bad Movie

Straight Edge Hardcore Dudes Harm Women And Everyone Ignores It So They Can Keep Playing Mediocre Guitar Riffs

My Favorite Part Of Punk Is The Only Time I Hear From My "Friends" Is When They Want Something From Me

God Forbid, Hardcore Kids Do Anything Aside From Hardcore! What Posers!

Colton From Reanimated Miscarriage Is Going To Come To Texas And Fight Me

How Can I Be A Narcissist When I Look Like This

I Asked If My T-bell Diarrhea Sounded Like Carcass Or Impetigo Vocals, When It Was Closer To Demilich Vocals

Balding And Fucked

My Life Hasn't Been The Same Since I Got A Gandalf Hat

I'm Gonna Fight Gene Simmons

This Years Tornado Season Will Be The Midwest's Punishment For Egg Punk

Sacrifice Lumpy If You Want To Avert This

Take The Time By Dream Theater

My Dangly Earring Is A Personality Trait Right?

What Is This Venue's Sword Policy?

Dallas Metal Dudes And Their Collective Poop Fetish (The Ballad Of Eatin' Like A Big Fella)

Face It, You're In An Egg Punk Band

If I Wanted An Angry Italian Man To Yell At Me, I Would Go To A Sub Shop Instead Of The Hank Wood Show

Where Does Target Keep Their Noise Tables?

Punk Time Is Dead And It Is Buried In My Back Yard

Being Gaslit For My Hatred Of Raising Caines

Goatmoon Is Just Racist Wintersun

Opeth Is What Would Happen If You Made A Heavy Metal Harry Potter And Also Bad

Unprecedented Levels Of Dipshittery

Infernal Legions Of Mordor, The Pawn Stars Of Noisecore

I'm Gonna Fight Jimmy From Youtube

Playing Hacked Up For Barbeque By Mortician Is Work Appropriate, Right?

I Payed A Guy At A Ren Faire To Roast My Hobbit And Now My Hobbit Won't Go To The Ren Faire

Support Local Business, Especially When They Allow Me To Bring My Sword In

That Guy From Blood Incantation Looks Like A Scifi Writer Driven Insane By The World He's Created

How Many Times Will Bone Sickness Follow And Unfollow Me On Instagram

My Combat Alchemist In The Parking Lot Of An Egg Punk Fest Expelling A Bad Potion

Dallas Grindcore People Telling Us We Need To Play A Longer Set

That Feel When James LeBrie Say "Carpe Diem, Seize The Day"

Razorbumps Is A Rockabilly Band, Prove Me Wrong

Hey, The Firefly Jayne Replica Hat Stays On During Sex Okay???

Ending Friendships Over Catan Trade Embargoes

I'm Into Cynic And Atheist So You Could Say I'm A Bit Of A Jazz Fan

Rick And Morty Shirts Are The New Fedora

Hot Boxing Your Straightedge Friend With CBD

Only Two Whole Years Until The Next Season Of Venture Bros (This Did Not Age Well)

Writing Off A Six Month Sword-Making Apprenticeship As A "Business Expense" On My Taxes

Listen, Not Every Dumb Ass Statement You Make Has To Be A Song Title, And That's The Song Title

Straightedge Noisecore War Commando

Kommand Was Better When They Were Called Hoax

I Now Play This Card To Retain My Virginity

Mountain Dew Where Is My Sponsorship

Shitposting Songtitles From This Lp On Facebook When I'm On The Clock At Work

Without Hesitation I Will Punish You About How And Why You Should Be Watching Venture Bros

"Walk This Way" Is The Worst Fucking Song

A.M.A.S. (All Men Are Simps)

My Friend Ryan's Mullet

Hell Yeah Bruther

Who's The Bigger Nerds, Us Or Vault Dweller?

Going To Ye Olde Pub Instead Of Watching The Bad Local Metalcore Band

Bald Larry Got License Plates That Say "Senpai"

Dystopia Is Skramz For Crusties

I'm Gonna Whup Varg's Tabletop Rpg Playing Ass

Sitting On The Porch Of House Of Tinnitus, Sippin' On Texas Cold Brew With Texas Mike

8/19/19; The Day Texas Mike Came Home

Cool Beans Let Me Play Cannibal Corpse Over Their P.A.

You Play In A Psych Rock Band (No One Cares About The Stupid Visuals You Have To Accompany Your Boring Music)

Dune Is Better Than Star Wars

The Butt Rock Song

A 12 Gauge Shotgun Full Of Our Lord's Forgiveness

Derik Can Only Harm You If You Know Of Him

Mountain Dew Doesn't Make Your Dick Shrink, I Was Born With A Micropenis

Taking A Mighty Push

Maggot Stomp Got That Pit Viper Sponsorship And That's Too Cool To Rip On

Writing Song Titles At 4:20 Am On Your Day Off Because You're On Some King Shit

Hey 1919 Can I Have My Money Back?

Oh Yes, Piss Off The Warlock

If I Crank The Sharpness And Contrast On My Mediocre Live Concert Photography Everyone Will Love It

Paying Any Amount Of Money For One Of Those Straight Edge Watches Is Fucking Stupid

Getting Asked To Play More "Customer Friendly Music", So I Put Mortiis On

Yes I Am An Admin On Metal Archives, And Yes I Talk To Women

We Shitpost Better Than Cruelster

Someone Once Called Me You Lord Of The Rings Lookin' Ass

Noisecore Is A Better Genre For Straightedge Liberation Than Youth Crew

Who Is This Mans Selling Pornogrind And Polish Extreme Metal Bootleg Tapes To Recycled And Not Me?

Pubic Floss Is My Favorite Ska Band

No Wait, Natural Man Is

I Went To A Noise Show On 9/11 And All I Got Was A Dollar

No You Don't Need A Gun

Tomb Mold Is My New Favorite Hypebeast Streetwear Brand

I'm Really Happy Seth Putnam Is Dead

Its Still Hilarious Josh From Anal Cunt Died Falling Off An Escalator

Tim Morse Got The Shit Kicked Out Of Him

Punks Who Cosplay As Darby Crash In 2020 Are Fucking Stupid

If I Gather All Of Dragon Ball Z On Vhs, Shenron Will Appear To Call Me A Nerd

Derailed Train Full Of Decapitated Oogles

Dumpster Diving For Forbidden Knowledge

I Miss Oil Spill

The Mullet That's Supposed To Save The World

Rest In The Arms Of A Dragon

Death Metal Was A Scam To Sell Longsleeve Shirts

Gun Dudes That Can't Cum Unless Their Wife Named Cindy Is Holding A Glock 7 Gen 3 To Their Bald Spot

Imagine Risking Exposure To Covid-19 To See A Soundcloud Rap Show

Tanking The Success Of My Noise Rock Band By Coming Out In Favor Of Driver's Licenses

The Mans With The Mortician Tramp Stamp Tattoo

Oh God No, Not Another Song Sampling Peter Jackson's Dead Alive

Your Pop Punk Has Breakdowns And Your Browser Is On A Watchlist

None Of Your Gorram Business That I'm Writing A Rutting Noisecore Song About Firefly

Firefly Lasted Longer Than I Do In Bed

Don't Open The Docking Port, You'll Let The Oboe In!!!!!

River Tam Will Kill You With Her Mind

Vhs Collectors Are Chill Ass Bros

The World Would Be A Better Place If Cookout Was A National Chain

You Smell Like You Play In A Grindcore Band

The Ballad Of The Egg Punk Demo Cassette

Simps Pretend To Like Death Metal To Lay Pipe

Your Band Has No Riffs

You Play In A D-Beat Band

Bodybag Darryl

I Was Paid To Take Photos Of An E-Girl, Take That 4chan

Average Time It Takes For People To Stop Caring About An Osdm Worship Band That Came Out On 20 Buck Spin

I, A 45 Year Old Man, Paid $100 To See David Yow Pull Out His Penis, Not To Talk Bad About My President

Amazing How White Drugs Was The Only Good Amrep Band

Remembering When The Drummer Of Skeleton Asked Me If He Should Listen To Obituary

We Bullied Taco Bell Into Bringing Back Potatoes On 311

Ah Yes, Jazz Fusion Covers Of Pokemon Route Themes

Harsh Noise Wall Track Using My Scrapped Brake Shoes

I Don't "Get" Noise Says The Person Who Likes 100 Gecs

Playing Brainbombs At The Function To Weed Out The Weak Friends

Everyone Is "We Love And Support You" Until You Threaten To Castrate Yourself With A Sword Your Friend Found In An Alleyway Next To A Car With A Broken In Windshield

This Song Is Just An Excuse To Sample Firefly

Nice Gatecreeper Shirt You Stupid Fucking Poser

"I Miss Going To Shows" Says The Sad Nerd Who Sat Outside During Every Band Smoking American Spirits

If Your Band Sounds Like American Football, I'm Kicking Your Fucking Ass

I Want To Fight People That Wear Suits In Public

Listening To Shadow Gallery To Experience What Dream Theater Would Be Like If They Had A Bass Player

Slint Is Just Korn But For Nerds

Okay, But What If I Said I've Never Actually Read Lord Of The Rings

Effortless Urination Of Bright Yellow Pee-Pee

We're Destroying The Baby Right?

The Darkest Magik

Yautja Is The Funniest Band In Metal, And The Most Handsome

Paying A Sex Worker To Just Cuddle Me, I'm Lonely

My Fetish Is Watching 30-40 Year Old Guys Imitate Steve Albini On Stage In At A Bar In Dallas, I Cum All The Time

Assigned Cowboy At Birth

All Hail Our Dork Lord And Master!

Beware Of Geeks Bearing Gifts

Ancient...Evil...And Hungry

Wizard Metal By The Numbers

A Harmless Giant From A Foreign Land

Survival Of The Thiccest

Sizzler Buffet For The Sexually Deranged

Yer Gonna Feel My Boot

Meat Mountain, Clogging Toilets And Arteries Everywhere

The Eye Of The Shitstorm

HOT GIRLS WITH SWORDS DOT COM

Muffled Sounds Of Gorilla Violence

Looking At Your Dungeon Tan I Can Tell That You're A Fan Of Mortiis

Yeah, I'd Get The Elf Ear Surgery

Keep The Adidas High Tops Free Of Blood Lest Ye Summon The Eldritch God Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

When The Reply Guys Swarm In

I Saw Rusty From Mental Abortion's Dick In Cabin Fever 2

You Play In An HM2-Core Band

Onlyfans But It's Just Chalrles Knowles Whuppin' My Ass

Thundersnow

Rise And False Grind

A Great Wizard, Ripping A Fat Bowl To Steely Dan

Skinhead But Not By Choice

Hanging Out At The Ren Faire With My Fellow Ugly LARPers

Noisecore For The Instagram Clout

Dark Highwayman, Encountered At Dusk Upon His Steed Named Sempai

Remembering When Sawblade Threatened To Strangle Me When I Was 19

Getting Fired From My Job As A DJ At A Bar For Playing The Traci Lords Loves Noise Reissue On Breathing Problem

I Got Cum All Over My Lone Wolf Audio Maggot Stomp Collab Distortion Pedal T-Shirt So I Ordered Another One

Using The Blood On The Eerified Catacomb Cassette To Make A Clone Of U.E. And Have My Own Pet Hypebeast Nekro Black Metal Machine

Making Fun Of Other Bands To Hide My Rage That No One Likes My Band

Smashing Your Head Into A Master Sword Replica After Laughing At How Stupid A New Infernal Legions Of Mordor Song Is

Having Gorenoise Tapes From Breathing Problem Productions Delivered To My Job

Are You Really Vibing Or Are You Just Giving Off Deadly Levels Of Ionizing Radiation?

We All Have Mustaches Now

Mute The Sword

We're Tall, You Aren't

Oh, Great, Another Band With Parker Lawson Doing Vocals

Temporary Secretary By Paul McCartney Started Egg Punk

We Need More Death Metal Distortion Pedals

Matt, "Peavey", Perrin Has A Gun

I Have A VHS Collection Instead Of A Personality

Kinkshaming Someone For Listening To Brainbombs

A Horsedrawn Carriage Full Of Ass

Buzzword Death Metal

Who Do I Have To Make Fun Of At The Dallas Observer To Finally Get Them To Notice Us?

What Isn't Beneath Tom G. Warrior's Beanie

Going To Tennessee To Finally Beat The Shit Out Of Thrashhard08

Infertile Hails

Avantasia Wrote A Power Ballad About Incest

Pickles Strutting His Noisecore Clout With A Trans Am

How Quickly Will Any Of The Guest Performers On This Regret Being On This Tape?

Giant Ass Sword

The Only Way To Escape The Grip Of Longmont Potion Castle Is Death

This Skullet Is A Poor Attempt To Cover This Red Neck

Qui-Gon Epstein

Deadbeat Disrocker Dad

War Metal Gauntlet With A Rail Of Blow

Who Is This Strange Man Who Entered My Keep With A Garment That Reads "RATLORD"

Anal Cunt Song Titles That Unfortunately Live Rent Free In My Head

Bald Larry Correcting Me About The Avantasia Incest Song

Highest Regarded Opinions Of The Tech Death Guitar Player

Black Metal Finsta

Dr. Alican Koc

Thank Fuck The Nerve In This Tooth Finally Died

Consuming My Slain Enemy's Heart For His Courage, His Brain For His Intelligence, And Eating His Ass

Getting Brain Juices All Over My Livestream Blood Incantation Shirt While Getting A COVID Test

You Play In A Perverse Homage Raw Black Metal Band

There Is A Box In The Back Of My Bedroom Closet With Dollar Signs Drawn All Over It With Nothing But Mark Winter Demos In It

A Trashbag Full Of Blow To Be Delivered To The War Metal Band

We're All Poseurs (Especially You)

Allegiance Formed With Mountain Of Smoke In The Realms Of Meatcraft

Dick Armor

Fully Erect Alchemist

Your Aluminum Guitar Won't Get You Into Heaven Anymore

My Ass Is A Furnace

O Thank Thee, Guardian Of Metal

You Listen To Discharge

A Goblin Swinging A Sack Full Of Quarters

Great Another Smelly Asshole Who Thinks Video Violence Is A Good Movie Telling Me That Hereditary Sucks

Charles Entertainment Knowles, Top Fan

You Play Math Rock (And You Suck At It Too)

You Told Me 'Look Man, I Put Out Records And Tour' But You Still Can't Write A Riff

Getting Targeted Ads For The Thicc AT&T Girl

Razor Girl From Brutal Legend Based Sexual Fantasy

If You’re Looking For Riffs In Contemporary Music And You Listen To Punk, I Have Bad News For You

You Listen To Death Metal (And You Smell Like It Too)

I Got A Friend Request From The Guitarist Of Devourment

You Listen To Opeth

Hanging Out In The Alley Behind J&J's With A Bunch Of Stupid Fucking Metalheads Listening To Celtic Frost

Crust Fund Kids Saying They "Don't Even Like Money!" All The Way To Their Parent's Bank

Having To Wear A Diaper When You Listen To Disembowelment Because You Keep Shitting Yourself

Telling Pantera Fans The South Won't Rise Again

My Wizard Hat, Taking To The Wind, Revealing My Bald Spot To The World

I Have My Very Own Lime Scooter And A Sword, Fear My Whimsy

Hitting The Character Limit On Bandcamp Song Titles

Derik The Hobbit

Imagine, If You Will, Rick Wakeman Wearing A Cape

It Smells Like Loneliness In Here

Explaining Anal Cunt To My Boss

If You Enjoyed Watching The Movie Martyrs, You Are A Bad Person

In Other News I Made A Noise Musician Mad On Twitter

This Isn't An Elf Cosplay, I Just Look Like This

The Only Time Anyone Cares About When You Pick Up An Instrument Is When You're Playing Cover Songs

The Reviews Are In

I Am A Late Game Boss That Is Hinted At For Two Thirds Of The Game That Has A Rare One Of One Loot Drop

Matt "Peavey" Perrin Demands To Be Sponsored

I Can't Believe Sleep Made A Career Off Of Ripping Off Sweet Leaf

Fremen For Vengeance

How Many Of Those Facebook Likes Did Your Band Have To Buy?

Being A Gatekeeper Fucking Rules

Starving For A Thirst Trap

Oh Good, The Blood Funnel

At Night, My Eldritch Supercomputer Crawls Under The Covers For Warmth

Selling My Punk Demos Before The Hype Dies Down And Getting Premium Prices On Discogs

You Listen To Iced Earth

Sometimes I Just Re-Read This List Of Song Titles, Not For Fun, But Because I Have Very Little Going On In My Life

Fancy Delights Ov The Void

Someone Stop Oyabun666 From Listing Every Punk Bandcamp Release on Discogs, No One Cares

Frozen Soul Weightlifting In Eternal Champion Merch

The Eldritch And Horrifying Mating Calls Of The Denizens Of 'Dega

The Lasting Legacy Of The Aughts Punk Band That Put Out a Demo, An EP And Only Played Fests

For Some Fucking Reason, I HAVE To Be THE Most Metal Person At this Estate Sale

Watching The Incel Uprising Tank The Stock Market

Another Song Where We Use Our Favorite Word, Eldritch, In The Title

You Play A PRS

Pounding Beers With The Goblin

Christopher Lee If You Are Out There And Can Hear Me: Please Haunt Me

Keep Your Mage Hand Strong

No One Asked Steven Wilson For Those Remixes

Hypnotized By ANTIFA Temptresses

Deep Within The Eternal Chambers Of The Pizza Dungeon

Unfriending Me On Facebook Won't Make Folk Punk Good

I'm Gonna Fight Froggy Fresh

Another Song To Flex Our Obscure Horror Knowledge By Sampling Bloodsuckers From Outer Space

Punk Goes...Country

It's Always Sunn O))) In Philadelphia

Fear Is The Painkiller

We're Available On I Heart Radio

You Listen To Comfy Synth

Asking The Owner Of Recycled Permission To (Continue To) Haunt Recycled When I Die

Sick Caveman Riffs

I Would Die 1000 Deaths For Texas Michael, Esq

Don't You Hate It When Assholes Break The Magickal Blood Seal

I Spit On Your Graveland

I Am Not Pausing Neil Young To Listen To This

Givin' Them Ghosts A Show

You Play In A Youth Crew Band

True Black Metal

Your Grandma Doesn't Need To Die Because You Couldn't Wait To See Ruptured Goat Anus Gurgle About Sexual Assault

Are You Aware Of The Power Of Shadows?

Keep Your Blade Held Aloft

I Screamed These Vocals Into A Sword

Livin' La Vida Don Vito

Cockblocked By A Self Proclaimed Shaman

You're Bleeding And I'm Tired

You Listen To 80's Yes

We Are Three Hundred And Three Songs In, Take A Break, You've Earned It Weary Traveler, You Are Almost There.

(Where Did) N.T.S.B. Fuckin' Go

Automatically Spawned With Blade In Hand

Townie Punks Fuck Off

Oh Man, Your True Crime And Bondage Themed Power Electronics Bands Must Get You All The Girls Huh Champ?

Anything Is A Musical Instrument If You Tape A Contact Mic To It, Duh

Not To Get Political Or Anything But Absurd Fucking Sucks

Wow, I Really Can't Believe You Have Listened To This Whole Fucking Thing. Whatever Sinks Your Ship

Amber Is The Colour Of My Anime / The Closing Ceremonies

You Will Never Be Top Fan

69 Songs

Crimson Flood Spewing From The Ruptured Acne Vagarous

Ascertain Thineself A Berth With A Duvet Cover, Cease The Playing Of The Emo Phonographs, Then, Perhaps A Female Will Give You Audience, You Fetid Weakling

Foul Enchantress Extracting Seminal Fluids From My Gargantuan Rod For Diabolical Sorcery Conducted In The Abhorrent Crepuscule

False Individuals Claiming To Be Eldritch And Outlandish, Despite Their Output Being Middling At Best

As An Administrator On Encyclopedia Metallum; The Metal Archives, My Very Own Conjecture On The Stylings Of Alternative Music Are Unerring

The Trepidation Concerning My Own Demise At The Metacarpals Of A Fluid Soaked Punchinello

Fred Durst Is An Improved Rebellious Songwriter Than Any Of You Leather Clad Punks

Gamers Sit Down

Nocturnal Emissions Originating In A Carnal Hallucination Enmeshed With Visions Of Matt Berry As The Personification Of Jackie Daytona Slapping My Hams

Blissful Passage From This Macabre Simulation Into The Realm Beyond, Which Is Entirely Populated With Buxom Mistresses Armed With The Most Exceptional Swords

The Fragrance Of The Most Splendid Spaghetti Emanating From The Wretched Taco Bell Excrement Issued From My Bulbous Anus

Bat With A Nail In It

You Can Drive My Truck, Just Don't Touch My Stereo

Revisiting An Old Idea: George W Bush Garfield Drawing

Marco Polo But Instead Of Saying Marco / Polo You Say Scully / Mulder And You Both Close Your Eyes And Run Around In Circles In A Cornfield.

Buy A Motorcycle On Credit

What’s The Deal With Wine??? What’s Wrong With A Nice Can Of Piss??

Brainbombs But Kermit Voice

Seeking Elopement Dot Com

Golden Hour Is The Best Hour To Get Drunk While Pretending To Read A Book By The Window

Life Is A Three Way Switch For Me.

The Settings Are "I Want To Die", "I Want To Do Something Stupid", And "I Feel Like God".

Next To The Switch Is A Gas Pedal And It's Just Duct Taped Down

A Picture Is Worth One Thousand Words But Getty Images Will Only Accept $USD

Sitting Outside The Walmart That Banned Me In My Car, Exile On Main St Blasting, Crying... All These Deals Passing Me

What If I Hit A Couple Dingers

Never Trust A Smiling Cat

Big Fan Of The Irish Goodbye, Sometimes You've Just Gotta Wander Off

Face / Off Porn Parody Called Jerk / Off

Had A Dream I Went To The Jungle To Die

My Job At The Chocolate Factory Is To Contaminate Everything With Nuts

No Matter How Far An Ass May Travel, He Will Not Return Home A Horse! Amen

Mads Mikkelsen Teaches You How To Tie Your Shoes Asmr

New Meme Style: You Print It Out And Take A Photo Of Yourself Holding It. You Become The Meme.

New Yolk

So A Cop's Horse Can Shit In The Street But When I Try To It's All Like "You're Under Arrest And I'm Disgusted With You"??

Wilem Dafoe Mode

Can You Make Me Look Like David Koresh?

My Hair Is So Fucked And Curly Rn I Look Like David Koresh

I Need A Robot To Give Me A Haircut

What If You Also Went To A Barber To Trim Your Pubic Hair

On My Hands And Knees Behind A Running Car Rabidly Huffing The Fumes

Busting In My Camo Pants.

His App Has Got Me In A Trance.

Makes Me Do A Dance.

Look At Me Prance.

I Love Romance.

Take My Payment In Advance.

God I Love The Internet

I Actually Wrote True Detective Season 1, That Other Guy Took It From Me

Life's Hard But I'm Not (I'm Flaccid Rn)

Hell Yeah I'm A Member Of The Iron Workers Union, I Lay Pipe!!

If I Die In A Freak Accident Delete My Drafts

Lifting Dumbbells In Front Of A Banks Front Doors - No One Is Going To Fucking Bank Today

What Do You Mean I'm Under Arrest?? This Is A Heat (1995) Cosplay Outfit!

British Yoda

Waging A War Against My Central Nervous System Today By Lifting Heavy Weights

If You Try To Surprise Me After 8pm I Hope You Like Being Struck With Force

Sun's Going Down So Put On Neil And Put That Fly Fishing Rod Away

Socially Distanced Blowjob

The First Title Is About The Sexuality Of The Free Market.

Wish I Could Just Wear Coveralls All Day And Hangout In A Studio Fucking Around

Leave The Gun, Take The Ravioli

Hot Dog Stand But They Sell Expensive Stationary (No Hot Dogs)

The Doors But They're Polish

Keanu Sex Scene In Cyberpunk Was A Letdown - No Hog Visible.

I'm Sick And I Have A Bad Case Of The Farts

A Penis Is Like A Small T-shirt Cannon

Hey Yeah Can I Get An Xfile?

Jeff Dunham And Ray Romano Hold Guns To Each Others Heads

Official Brainbombs Etsy

Us Soldier Captured By Enemy And Forced To Eat Papa John's Pizza

Proof About The Pyramids If Anyone's Interested In How They Were Built

This Is A Posting Spree And I Will Not Be Stopped

Catholic School Teacher Wearing A Burzum Shirt

I'm In The Yard Listening To Undergang, Smashing Rocks With A Hammer.

I Need Someone To Take Me To The Hospital Asap

I'm Shadowbanned From Krate For Rating An Oasis Album 1 Star

Please Send Gold

This One's For You (Whoever's Reading This): Keep It Up, I Believe In You!

8000 Songs

Introduction: Gathering Around The Light Of The Fire As The Unearthly And Benevolent Spirits Of The Forest Join Us In This Magik Night

My Elf Ears Melted In My Car

Ranking Morbid Angel Albums Solely Based Upon Their Cover Art

At The Risk Of Taking A Feminist Stance, I Gotta Say Cemetery Rapist Is A Very Bad Band

Getting Frostbite During The Texas Blizzard Taking Corpsepaint Photos

Don't Tempt Me Frodo!

Awaken Me When The Time Is Appropriate To Listen To Type O Negative

Venom Enema

The Frozen One Awaits

Beefcakes Without Borders

Nothing More Punk Than A Fast, Casual Italian Eatery

The Ancient Spell, Grimly Uttered In The Tongues Of The Old Ones By My Unfortunate Rectum Hours After Eating Spicy Curry

Mamma's Selling A Line 6

Professor Snape, The World's Favorite Incel

The Gate Of No Return

The Noise Gate Of No Return

My Former Life As A Poser

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Diesel Boner

Really, How Long Does It Take To Test A Fucking Compression Pedal??

Tormented And Coerced Into Performing A Live Ritual By An Eldritch Forest Spirit, A Pair Of Ghouls And A Weeb

How Can I Be Punk When I Have A Severe Skin Allergy To Nickel

Freebasing Cringe

I Wish My Life Had More Of A Thulean Perspective

Daydreaming Giddily About John Lennon Burning In Hell

Catfishing Viper

Cognitive Ball Therapy

Researching The Legality Of Cannibalism

Entering And Leaving The Garage Waiting For The Random Encounter Peavey To Spawn

Unapproachable Raw Black Metal Legend Purchasing Me Indie Rock Record From My Own City

Cursed To Listen To Untold Hours Of King Crimson In The Lair Of Count Progula

Asking Raw Black Metal Elite, "You Ever Heard Behemoth?"

Buying A Gun From The Drummer Of Savatage

Having A Random Encounter With Lord Wurm In Recycled, To Have Him Babble Something Insane And Give You An S Rank Quest

Nice 12 String Ric You Psych Rock Playing Poser (I Mean This Unironically)

Okay Give Me That Guitar It's Too Cool for You, You Play Psych Rock in 2021

Wolves In The Throne Room Posting Emojis (Wolves In The Throne Room Are A Bunch Of Fucking Nerds, Pt. 2)

Being A Pornogrind Fan Is Cleaning The Cum Out Of The Grooves On Your Meat Shits Records

The Worst Part Of Being An Nsbm Fan (Other Than, Y'Know Being Racist) Is Having To Pretend That Absurd Is A Good Band

Like A Macabre Rail Of Silly String A Footlong Cord Of Turds Rope Descends From My Anus

And On That Day His Forehead Grew Three Times Its Normal Size

Punishing Edm Kids With Neil Young

Becoming A Cocaine Cowboy Because You Don't Know What Else To Do With Yourself Now That Burger Records Is Cancelled

You'll Cowards Won't Even Play In Standard Tuning

Todopoderoso Steals Riffs From Kombat (How DARE They Play An Open E)

Ancient Sword Of The Meth King

I'm Going To Fucking Fight Vincent Gallo, And I Will Win

Successfully Cyberbullied A Child

Save A Tele, Kill Your Local Indie Rocker

Do You Believe In Magick (Spelled With A "K")?

Aerosmith By Choice

Another Wampyric And Elusive Black Metal Project With Dungeon Synth Interludes Just Like The Last Five That I Unloaded My Paycheck On

That Mountain Goats Song About A Death Metal Band Wasn't About Kombat

Jackhammer Dildo

Knowing Very Obscure Metal Bands Makes Me A Desirable Person And Fun To Talk To At Parties

An Onslaught Of Rotting Monkeys

Giving My Album Art The Color Palette Of Black, White And Red So We All Know Its Blasphemy Worship (What The Goat Wasn't Enough Of A Giveaway?)

Wretched Crotchspawn Of A Belligerent Oogle

Larry Is Bald

Cum Ghost

The House That Beef Built

Time To Start Bullying NFT Artists

Critical Race Theory in Power Electronics

A Snake With A Mohawk Eating Its Own Asshole

I Fear My Earthling Neighbors Have Seen Me Feasting Upon Car Batteries

A Group Of Three (3) Or More Peavey Combo Amps Is Commonly Referred To As A "Pawn Shop"

Honor Guard Of Black Kittens Guide Me As I Carry This Pile Of Bones Home

If You Feel Your Rectum Begin To Leak Feel Free To Challenge Me To A Battle Of Intellects On Facebook

Eno-Pilled

Morgan's Song

An Ode To All The Small Creatures Of The Night (And Their Mystic Weapons)

2nd Split In A Year With A Garry Brents Band, Epic

Frozen Soul Left The Damn Air Conditioner On Again

Gary's March / I Hench For No Man

Sudden And Total Loss Of Shpadoinkle

The Wild And Severe Psychosis Of The Blonde Brother

Sip-Sip-Sipiin' On That Sweet Wine In Charles Brown's Pocket

The Reviews Are In

Listen To Your Albino Sidekick

Murdering Glam Rock Legends

Once In High School I Got Dosed With Psychedelics And I Loved Pizza

Fred Durst Is An Improved Rebellious Songwriter Than Any Of You Leather Clad Punks

148 Songs About Getting Lost In The Misty Woods

Cheese Crimes

Why Yes, My Dick Is Fucking Small

The Night We Whupped Two Knight's Ass

Rushing To The Defense Of Hypebeast Death Metal Bands

Introduction; The Season Of The Witch

Bitten By The Sumatran Rat Monkey

Chainsawed Through Your Rotten Jaw

Torn Apart For The Reason Of Reanimation

It's Not Over Until The Bloodsoaked Teenager Says It Is

Alien Force Possessing Farmers To Insatiable Bloodlust

Cooler Full Of Unearthly Abominations Hungry For Flesh

The Eye Is The Window To The Gory Pits Of Hell

Haunted House Strewn With Frat Boy Guts

Resurrection Of The Muldoon Man

Midas Touch Of Rapid Decomposition

Wendigo's Chilli Con Carnival

Shengar's Legion Of The Living Dead

Stop Killing The Dead, The Living Deserve It

Gutted By A T-Rex

Too Healthy To Live

Ripped From The Womb

Great Value Midwestern Zombies

Shetaar Goddess Of Gore And The Night

The Worst Person On Earth

Chained To A Tree And Snot Running Free

Cult Of Gay Cannibals

Psychedelic Brain Slug

Following The Chunks Of A Dying Frat Boy To A Fistfull Of Buckshot

The Horror Nerd Saves The Day

Through The Silver Screen, Mutating Right In Front Of You

Beware Of Posh British Werewolves

Spirits Of The Sand

Cursed Valley Of The Devilwitch

Aligned Deaths, Vengeance From Beyond

Great Value George Romero

Western Showdown, With Vampires And A Truck

Valley Girls At The End Of The World

Crazy German Goresoaked Teenager Pt 1

Crazy German Goresoaked Teenager Pt 2

Ringworm Infested Hillfolk Consumed By A Boar

Surprisingly Tasteful Movie Being Sampled On This EP

Split Up The Middle By Slugman

Condemnation Of The Righteous And Sinners Alike

The Slippery Rich Eat The Poor

From The Future To Murder The Past (Not About The Terminator)

The Wise Words Of The Tobacco Man

Two Ways To Half A Boomer

Nicholas Cage Drug Fueled Fury

Necrophiliac At The Micmac Burial Ground

Where's My Hug At?

The Sample Is The Only Good Part Of This Dogshit Slasher

The Bloodsoaked Girl That Escaped From Patrick Stewart's Brain

The Sign Is Warning You

The Line That Defined Tom Atkins' Career

Snakehand And Its Penchant For The Human Jaw

Mom Can We Stop And Get Evil Dead? No We Have Evil Dead At Home. Evil Dead At Home.

The Ravings Of The Gemini Killer

Reasons To Be Wary Of Goths

Satanic Grandmothers Disembowel Their Worthless Family

There Were Slugs In This Shot Of Malort

Not In Front Of The Mutants!

Shimmering Goo That Eats You!

They Brought Back The Star To Explode

Little Shit Becomes An Assistant Serial Killer

Fleshprison Of Inter Galactic Serial Killer

Aging Beauty Pays The Price Of Pride And Vanity

Melting Chunks Of Hobo

Degenerate Yelling Teenagers

Invasion Of The Body Snatchers Meets The Terminator

Texan, Southern Fried Henry

The Most Obvious Sample From This Alarmingly Horny Movie

Alien Hacked To Pieces By Oscar Award Winning Director

Outro; Return Of The Witch

The Ritual Is Underway

Good Boy Versus The Ace Hardware

I [REDACTED] Robert Dethrage With My Rainbow Painted AR-15

Bald Larry Suggesting We Make A NFT, Fuck Him

John Petrucci Is Confused About The Distinct Lack Of Female Dream Theater Fans

Liking Bolt Thrower Doesn't Automatically Mean I'm A Nerd And Like Warhammer Does It?

You Smell Like Salami

Making An Sov Movie To Finally Be Made Fun Of By Colton From Rm

Slicing A Bigger Asshole With A Scythe

Truck Full Of Bubbas

The Wound Planet Has An Asteroid Belt

If You Meet Danny Conrad, At Tom's Daqueri, He Will Show You Where The Treasure Is

You Have Sideburns

Can I Buy Coffee In Denton, Texas (Ethically)

God I Can't Believe People Are Still Doing The Thing I Don't Like

Aggressive Stargazing

Those Crystals Won't Remove Your Curse, They're Time Travel Crystals

Poisoning A Psychic Vampire

Hank Hill Stole My Sword

You Are A DJ

Goblin Taxidermy

Forbidden Elf Glizzy

So Where Are The Penis Enlargement Crystals?

I Can See That Hot Sauce Senior Didn't Teach You Any Manors

Please Take The Hook Off Before Sex

Seance With An A.I.

Extinction Level Event At Anime Expo

I Threw The Dead Rat At Full Of Hell

Setting The Vibe By Playing Needle Exchange's 2018 Classic, "Kill Them All With Fentanyl"

I Don't Care For The Government But I Do Believe In Mandatory Background Checks For Selling Punks Chorus Pedals

I'm Not A Necrophile, I'm A Necromancer

Matt "Peavey" Perrin Luring You Into His Lair To Feed You Braums And Force You To Watch Shit That Fucks

Ruptured Goat Anus Wants To Do A Split With Us (We're Good)

Please Stop Asking Us To Play Shows

You Play In Deep Ellum

Black Magick: The NSBM Of Wizardry

Encountering A Witch In Winco, Accepting The Crystal Gift And Immediately Shitting Myself

Mountain Dew Caudron

Charles Fucking Knowles II: Shred Season

You Eat At Whataburger

They Say There's Magick In The Air

Asking A Telemarketer If They “Fear Death Yet Also Long For It?”

Hardcore Kids Playing Death Metal

Orb To Ponder In One Hand, Shotgun In The Other

Chekhov's Battle Axe

State Sanctioned Furries

Department Of Defense Spiritual Warrior Contractor

Hey, I Know That We Stole A Disfigured Corpse From The Morgue

Then We Brought It To A Cemetery To Perform A Satanic Ritual On It Beneath The Full Moon

But We're Now In This Abandoned Mansion Where We Found A Satanic Spell Book

So Don't Tell Me You're "Too Creeped Out" To Have Sex Here?

Psychic War Draft Dodger

Ruining Dylan From Full Of Hell's Career By Making Him Guest On Our Tapes

Reanimated Miscarriage The Youth Attack Of Noisecore

Elevator Music For Evil Gnomes

Dad Wanted A Football Stud, He Got A Sorcerer

Bringing My Eight String Guitar On My Date And Playing Meshuggah Riffs Is A Real Panty Dropper

Mom Took My Sword Away

Noisecore Money

You Watch Obscure Horror Movies

Kill A Cop, Better Crops

You've Got No Friends So You Might As Well Start A Dungeon Synth Project

You Keep Asking Trans Siberian Orchestra To Play Savatage Songs

Lloyd Kaufman Made Fun Of Me For Collecting VHS

She Totally Crawled Out Of That New Hole

I Bled On A Keyboard And Fried It

Vampyryc Scyences

You Modify Your Orders At Taco Bell

The Battel Rages On

Calm & Ethereal Morning

True Black Metal

Take A Rest

Eno Pilled

Castle Siege

Drone Ov Battel

Gathering Around The Campfire